They say you can't, can't communicate.  That means even if you say nothing, you are saying something.  I find communication to be more science than art.  The art comes in when you apply the science of it.  All science is build on a foundation of principles and laws that can't be disputed.  From these laws comes the building blocks, be it math, physics or any of the hard sciences.  Well communication is no different.  If you learn the basics and apply them correctly you will get your outcome.

what is the first thing you should do when learning to communicate?  The very first thing to do is listen.  So simple but so underused.  If you are in sales or you have to persuade, then you need to learn to listen.  I know what you are saying, "who doesn't know how to listen?"   Well, I have worked with many a sales person who didn't know this one trait.  The number one thing the set the highest paid sales people apart from the pack was listening.  No, it wasn't the only thing but it was one of those foundational blocks I mentioned earlier. 

Lets learn the fine art of listening shall we?

Top 7 Fastest Ways to Learn to Listen and How They Will Get You To the Top

1.  Make eye contact.  This doesn't mean have a staring contest but it has been proven that you retain more if you look directly at the speaker.  It will show respect and allow you to catch the non-verbal cues as well.  There is a trick to looking at the person and not staring through them.  For now just look at the eyes but take in the whole body.  The person will respond to you far better.  Test it out, see if I am not right.

2.  Posture.  Yes there is a listening posture.  It usually is, on the edge of your seat, back straight and slightly leaning forward.  Just pay attention how your posture is when you are totally captivated by something.  Then make sure you practice it.  The old saying, back straight, head up, chest out works well here.

3.  Wait a full 3 seconds or more before you say anything.  After the speaker stops talking you take a 3 count instead of blurting out your words.  This allows your mind to catch up with his words and shows the person that you are thinking about what he has said.  Tell the truth, how many times are you just waiting to say your share and you can't wait until the speaker finishes?  It shows.

4.  Don't anticipate the talker.  Don't assume, keep an open mind.  Let the words form the thought in your mind, do not try to beat it.  Even if you think you know, you might be wrong.  Once you jump to conclusion you are not using your brain to listen.  So keep the mind active by not allowing it to run ahead.

5.  Play back.  Yep, play it back in your head once and then play it back to the talker.  This way if you didn't get it you will be giving them a chance to make it clear.  "So, You are saying that, if we make delivery on-time we can get our production back up?"   Then you listen again. This often is called calibrating.  You are checking the map.

6.  Ask questions.  Even if you think you have the idea, go ahead and ask a clarifying question anyway.  What do you man by time?  Or,  how do you come to that conclusion?  You could use both together as well.  Example, " I think I follow, what did you mean by delay and how do you suggest we meet our commitment?"  Stay away from why.

7.  Thank them.  Yea I know, but after a conversation I noticed the top sales people usually end the conversation with a sincere thank you.  So it wont hurt.

This is by no mean all the ways to listen.  In fact books have been written on how to listen better.  I don't think you need a book just a little know how.  You have two ears, one mouth, use them in that proportion and you will be great. 

And thank you for reading your commits are appreciated,

Pat